


Unhip Hooray

by ProseApothecary



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Birthday Party, David turns ~cough~ years old, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25508551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProseApothecary/pseuds/ProseApothecary
Summary: “Listen,” says Patrick, “before we go in, I just want you to know that this was not my idea. And I’m sorry.”
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 17
Kudos: 152





	Unhip Hooray

“Listen,” says Patrick, “before we go in, I just want you to know that this was not my idea. And I’m sorry.”

“What?” asks David, before being pushed through the door of Rose Apothecary. Lights come on as a off-kilter chorus of “Happy Birthday” runs through the crowd.

“Oh my God.”

Patrick leans in and whispers, “a little happier this time.”

“Oh my God?”

There are children’s streamers hanging from the ceiling. A few balloons covered in pictures of Donald Duck and Goofy sit on the floor.

“Jocelyn helped with the decorating,” Patrick says.

“No kidding!” says David, stretching his grimace into a smile. “Please tell me there’s at least a cheese board.”

“Oh, _that_ I did organise.” Patrick grabs a breadboard from a table and holds it out to David.

David’s double-handing crackers when it becomes clear it’s gift-giving time.

There are some surprisingly acceptable gifts. And some unsurprisingly terrible ones.

Stevie gifts him a card which starts singing as soon as he opens it.

He shuts it immediately, to her disappointment.

Twyla just looks worried. “…The song’s trapped in there now. Unsung. Forever.”

David sighs and opens the card. He’s sung Happy Birthday by a voice that sounds like it belongs to a cartoon baby. Twyla holds a hand to her heart, truly touched. Stevie grins, giddy.

Alexis’ gift to him is that she has kept the age he’s turning on lockdown from everyone attending, despite substantial pressure to reveal it. David thinks it’s the best gift he’s ever received.

Johnny’s gift is the pen he signed the first Rose Video lease with. He’s quick to establish that all the ink in it has long since dried up. David thinks it’s a bad omen for the store in so, so many ways. He resolves to burn it as soon as he gets home.

Moira’s gift is a speech.

She stands up, bangs a spoon against a wine glass until the room is quiet, and says, “David. You and I are alike in many ways. Well done.”

She sits down. There’s some scattered applause. Patrick smiles into David’s shoulder and says, “Her original speech was an hour. I mentioned something about it being a little long, so, naturally, this is her response.”

“Very glad you fell on that sword for me. Any chance you got me any _more_ gifts?”

Patrick smiles. “There might be something when we get home.”

As soon as they’re through the door, Patrick motions toward the bed. There's a diffuser on the bedside table which is spreading lavender throughout the room.

“…I already owned both those things,” David says dryly.

“The diffuser is not the gift, David. A relaxing night in and a massage is the gift. I kind of thought you might need it, after tonight.”

“Huh,” David says, already heading for the bed. “You know, I’ve realised, the fact that _you_ live in this town means technically I have to be grateful _I_ live in this town. And I have a deep well of resentment regarding that.”

“I can live with that.”

“Good?” Patrick asks, half an hour later, by the time David’s melting into the sheets.

“So good it makes me glad for whatever grand karmic mistake made this happen.” David mumbles into the pillow. “It’s pretty obvious you were meant to be with like, Mother Theresa.”

Patrick laughs, going a little pink. “Not my type.”

David hums something that’s more sleep than words.

Patrick thinks he had a good birthday.


End file.
